my heart sings when i think of you;

i doubt you will see this post, so i think my feelings would be safe here. I really don't know what i'm actually feeling inside right now, at this moment. I just know that you kinda affect me, although you may not know it. I know this may be just one-sided, but i just could not control the feelings. What am i supposed to do? Ignore everything that i'm feeling inside and forget about you? I'm sorry, but i just can't bring myself to do it. Why is it so hard to love someone? I wished i had the courage to just go up to you and tell you, i love you. But why is it so hard to do so? Actually, i don't even know what your thinking inside. Sometimes, i wished you would take the initiative to talk to me instead of the other way round. Is this really just my wishful thinking? Am i thinking too much already? I don't know and i have no idea. I wished god would show me the light, let me know what your thinking at least. Then, i would be able to know what you feel about me and from there, i would know what the next step i can take. Won't you just grant this little wish of mine?

Day 07: Your zodiac sign and if you think it suits your personality.
Well, my zodiac sign is monkey and i think it rather suits my personality. I don't deny that i'm mischievous at times just like a monkey! LOL. Hmm, but i think monkeys are generally really friendly animals and i think i'm just like that. It's not that i'm praising myself or anything, but i'm just saying i'm friendly if you really get to know me.

Day 04: Your views on religon.
Basically, i think all religons ought to be respected no matter whether if your of that religon or not. Everyone is equal and no one is of a higher rank of the other. So there must be mutual respect, don't you think?

Day 05: A time you thought about ending your life.
This would be the time when i entered poly life, the time when i left IJ, the time when everything was a brand new start, without anyone i knew in the course at all. I just felt like ending my life there and then, feeling so helpless and all. But luckily, i have friends who pulled me out of that. I really appreciate all that they have done for me. Really.

Day 06: Write 30 interesting facts about yourself.
I am so lazy to write 30 facts, you guys should know all about me if your really my friends! (:

DAY 02- Where you'd like to be in 10 years.
Hmm, i guess still be in the tourism industry? I hope i can travel around the world and visit every single country/city on earth. Then my life would really be complete and i would have the sense of accomplishment in me too.

DAY 03- Your views on drugs and alcohol.
I guess alcohol is alright if taken moderately and drugs are a BIG NO-NO for me.
HAHA!

its the 1st of December and i'm praying that it's gonna be a good month for me. screw projects, screw project groupings, screw school. i'm gonna make this month work for me, and make it the best that i can. Christmas is in 25days and i simply cannot wait!! i can't wait to meet up with the girls and celebrate christmas with the whole bunch of them. i miss the girls so much! <333